The Lost Realist

I love you, for your sweet smile,
Revealing those crooked teeth,
The infinite fuzz your hair are,
The way you fumble and screw up.

But most of all, I love the way,
I can talk to you endlessly.

You love me,
For that couple of hair on my head,
My skin like silt, The way I always,
Love to ride my hyperbole.

And my strength as a man,
Every time I cry on your shoulders.

But wait, don’t let anyone know,
You’re supposed to be my prize - beautiful and elegant,
And I am supposed to be your Man - handsome and strong.

In this world of mass-media superficiality
And capitalism-induced inadequacy,
True love will always be, our dirty little secret.

So many gaudy flowers here
empty, cloying sweetness,
I flutter and come to you, My wildflower,
For only you exude
The nectar that I crave.

– For my love

And man forgot he was one,
With every “thing” that exists,
Pulled out his knife of logic,
And dismembered the universe.

How terribly alone and sad,
This child has become.

Alive and Dead,
There is a fine line,
Me and other,
There is a fine line.

And one day he woke up,
Realized he is one with everything,
There is no “me” or “human” in Reality,
And all misery disappeared.

He is alone no more,
Doesn’t crave another life,
Doesn’t crave for other life,
He is happy here, now, forever.

Everything is really one,
Something a knife will never know,
Trying to fit infinity itself,
On the edge of a knife?

Reality will laugh.

End this delusion,
End misery forever.

The lyrics moved me so much I just had to post them here, if nothing, for my own reference in the future =). So, so, so true.

Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can’t you understand
Oh my little girl

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Enjoy the silence

We are,
Just a bunch of molecules,
Floating around aimlessly,
Doing something meaningful -
In accidental harmony.

We are,
A group of organs,
Doing their job, day and night,
Doing something together -
In accidental synchrony.

We are,
A group of animals,
Lusting and making lust,
Creating offsprings together -
Accidental fecundity.

We are,
A group of lovers,
Loving and making love,
Nurturing children together -
Accidental humanity.

We are,
A group of explorers,
Learning and helping,
Creating a new world for each other -
Accidental divinity.

We are,
A small speck in the universe,
Floating infinitely into infinity,
Too self-involved to notice -
Accidental inanity.

We are,
A beautiful accident,
In a universe where
Accident is the hand of God.
We are Humanity.

May we be good to ourselves and the universe and realize that the only good that will ever happen is what we do by our own hands and hearts. We are the creators and destroyers. We are the universe incarnate.

Saturates my senses,
This thing,
A feeling or a thought,
It doesn’t matter,
But surely a vexation,
Takes away my peace,
And when it subsides,
I am tired.

The senses are tiresome.
Strong feelings are tiresome.

A sensation,
Hardly there,
Like an intangible fragrance,
Permeating my existence,
But just beyond grasp.

Like that floating speck in my eye,
Always teasing my gaze,
But when I am not looking,
I know it is there.

Never coming forth,
But always present.
Never shining,
But simply radiant.

Love exists,
This way.

In this piece I have tried a completely new style — no style. That is, no rhyme but some reason =P. I don’t even know if this is prose or poetry or whatever. I am illiterate as to these technicalities anyways, so how could it hurt, right? =)

I fear change, yes, I do,
But never changing? I fear that too.

The world keeps changing,
For me that is constant stress,
But what if it stopped changing tomorrow?
For some days, I’d be relieved,
But after that, life would be worthless.

If I didn’t change, I’d be a rock.
If the world didn’t, it’d be dead.

We are messengers of change,
And still we hate it so much,
In work, in love, in everything we do.
Why is this so?
Because we don’t understand life,
Because we don’t understand love,
Because we refuse to see they are the same.

Living is not the pursuit of happiness.
Where is happiness, haven’t you felt?
Happiness and Sadness walk hand in hand,
They are friends, they are in love,
But we want one and forget its essence.

Loving is not the pursuit of a person.
Where is a person, haven’t you felt?
What we were yesterday, what we are today,
They all dance, merge, fight, cry, kiss and laugh,
Can you call one of them your life and the other not?

We want to love, but we don’t want to embrace,
We want to live, but we don’t want to see, that –

Everything is changing, we are all not here,
We are songs of creation, rhythms in motion,
And we want the music to play, but the notes to stop,
Stop, so we can look at the notes and love them forever,
But alas, if a note would stop, it would lose our love.
The music is the song of love, not the notes,
The rhythm is life, not the ups and downs.

Listen, if we would just listen closely,
If we would let ourselves be for a while,
With each change for the better or for the worse,
In each giggle and in each tear,
We would hear life itself singing,
The song of change, the song of love.

A dear friend of mine recently told me a poem she once wrote about how our dreams and aspirations are much like the stars in the heavens. Her thoughts resonated deeply with me, so I decided to adapt it into words in my own way, while keeping the ideas and feelings exactly the way she intended. So yes, it is blatant plagiarism. Sue me =P.

I

For long have these been my guide,
The stars up in the heavens,
My beacons of light amidst the dark,
When my soul has cried craven.

Millions of them, there are,
Twinkling, Fickle specks of light,
They are my dreams, big and small,
They are all that gives me life.

What is a dream, after all,
A tempest of emotions,
A brilliant star of energy,
Atoms fusing in motion.

They’re always so close,
And yet so far,
They will tell you where to go,
But not who you are.

II

I once followed a star,
To where it would take me,
I kept chasing it’s tortuous light,
This dream would set me free.

I was getting closer,
It grew night by night,
Each night was worth going through,
For that speck of shimmering light.

One night I raised up my hands,
And plucked it from the sky,
But it started losing it’s brilliance,
It belonged not down here, but up high.

I robbed it off it’s beauty,
By plucking it off the sky,
It is just a worthless rock in my hand,
I had turned my dream into a lie.

III

I once followed a star,
And it grew day by day,
But alas it was not to be,
It was not to come my way.

It was too magnificent to survive,
All it left was a black hole,
Exploding in a supernova of feelings,
Leaving a dark place in my soul.

All that was left were fragments,
Of pain, suffering and destruction,
Millions of pieces of my dreams,
Worthless shards of emotion.

But nothing is in vain in this universe,
And neither is devastation,
From the pieces, a new star is formed,
Each time I die, hope is my salvation.

So I stood up.

IV

I once followed a star…

…And always will, for I am alive.

Thank you, dear friend.

“Ideas are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your destiny.”
- Carl Schurz (1829-1906)

I came across this beautiful poem recently, just had to post it here, if only for my own records =)

Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata (Latin for Desired Things)

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

In my hands I held a moment,
Too beautiful to let go,
Imbuing me in its color,
Fighting time’s flow.

But who can stop the march of time?
Stop in mid-flight a moment sublime?

I opened my palms and it flew,
Fluttered its wings like a butterfly,
And a million colors exploded,
Refulgent sparks of beauty…

A sanguine red here,
An azure blue there,
An austere white,
Mixed in the darkest black.

And then more moments flew in,
One, two, a thousand more,
And there I stood watching, agape,
The dance of moments, the dance of life.

The million colors of this world,
Blending into each other endlessly,
Dancing like children, for no reason,
Laughing, Crying, Loving passionately.

I looked at my small palms and laughed -
Let it all fly, let the moments go free,
Heaven is right in front of you,
Open your palms, and for yourself see.

Inspired by a beautiful October sunset.